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Foot Friday - "Ugly" Feet

It's been over nine years since I've posted anything about feet in this journal. But now, I sort of have to, just to preserve some of my material from another discussion group. For almost 15 years I had been an on and off participant on a message board that dealt with foot interest/foot fetish. It covered a lot of ground and it was, for the most part, a pretty good place to gauge what people (mostly men but occasionally some women) thought about the topic, and where people would post photos and videos of what they thought were attractive feet: Celebrities, catalog models, wives, girlfriends or themselves. Most of my participation there was in the discussions of various topics.

I was ousted from that board, twice. I'll go into the specifics of that some other time, but as I am no longer a part of that group, I figured I'd bring my sage comments and wisdom about this topic right back to this journal, where it belongs, and to rescue that text, as I presume I'm not going to have access to it eventually. So, I'm going to be moving some of those topics over here. I'll try to keep the shoeboxes neatly stacked against the wall.

To reopen the concept of Foot Friday, the best place to start is in discussing the aesthetic of what makes feet attractive or unattractive.

An excellent place to begin examining that is in the following message a user posted to that board:

I've started going out with a girl. I really like her. I think she's quite attractive physically and we get on extremely well. We can talk about everything, from being silly with each other to all the serious stuff. We have lots in common and we really click. And she likes me a lot too. I've shared some quite personal things with her and she's done the same back to me and we've both been really cool with everything. Basically I think she's great.

But I don't like her feet. And, I don't know if any of you guys have the same thing, but I'm not sexually aroused by things that other people are e.g. breasts, bums, legs. So I don't know what to do. I haven't had sex with her yet as she's not ready, which is fine, but I've slept over with her a couple of times and when I do and we've kissed, I've not been enjoying it. Is it because I'm thinking about her feet?

The thing is, I'm not a shallow person and I don't want to throw something potentially amazing away just because of something so superficial.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Based on the statements he made, I presumed he was a teenager or early 20s at most. (That board had a 18 and over rule, though, as is the case everywhere on the internet, there wasn't any way to confirm someone's age.) I responded back with the following:

1. Is it the physical element of how her feet are, or is it that she simply doesn't take care of her nails, and wears shoes that give her callouses, bunions, corns or other such issues?

2. Are her feet truly a "deal breaker" for you?

To the first point, there is a lot that can be done when the feet are properly cared for, placed in shoes/sandals that help them heal up and given toe stretchers and proper pedicures. You would be amazed at how good some feet you thought were hideous can look if they have been given proper treatment. On the other hand, if it's something like her second toe is longer than the first, or her foot is really narrow or something that cannot be changed, then there isn't a lot that will help with it. But really, she can't have bear claws or eagle talons, so how horrible are they?

Also, if you truly love someone, the tendency is to overlook those imperfections, and maybe you'll actually grow to love how her feet look? It's not beyond possibility.

To the second point, it sounds like it's the beginning of a really nice and worthwhile relationship.

There is no "correct" answer to this question. Maybe you stay with her and learn to overlook her feet. Maybe you ditch her and you meet your foot dream girl. Maybe this new dream girl is horrible, or maybe you never meet a foot dream girl. There's no way to know! The question is would you be happy with her, even if her feet don't get the job done for you?

I'll sum it up with two thoughts for you. Relationships, where the two people get along really well, and click the way you're describing, and are genuinely caring about each other? That's far rarer than a girl with perfect feet. And unless you have something really special going for you, like you're a wealthy show biz type, pro athlete, or are just catnip for girls, you may not have as many opportunities as you think. After all, what is she sacrificing from her "perfect guy" list to be with you?

I stand by my assessment of the situation, but that could be because I'm not quite as fascinated by feet as other members of that board clearly were. There actually are some guys that know that feet which don't appeal to them would prevent them from having a proper relationship with a woman, even if they like everything else about her!

I think it's important to know that, and it's important for a guy in this situation to share that information early. Why waste time? If you're a guy who really likes feet, but doesn't like this particular woman's feet, and that means that much to you, don't get involved. It'll only be more painful for everybody if you let that continue for weeks and months, if and when you decide you've reached your breaking point and just can't live with her feet anymore.

The interesting thing about foot interest is that personal taste varies widely, and while some may not be attracted to a particular woman's feet, there are others who would definitely be. That's kind of the magic of it! Of course, it would be great if everything was compatible, but life is not perfect. The big point to remember is that every woman's feet will be attractive to someone.

And that point brings us right back to the aesthetic. What makes for "beautiful" or "ugly" feet?

As is the case with appearance, a lot of it has to do with presentation. We know about making sure feet are cared for and beautified with pedicures and protection from shoes that can cut or harm, and displaying feet in ways that make them more attractive. That's actually pretty easy to achieve, if that is of interest. And personally, I feel that any woman that is willing to display her feet in public should get a thank you because that's a really nice thing to do.

I always stated on that board that no one should ever be critical of how a woman's feet look, as a matter of course. Again, that's because someone will find her feet attractive and if you make a nasty or insulting comment, maybe she would decide not to display her feet as frequently, or at all, and that could mean that someone who did find them attractive wouldn't get to see! Being kind makes for a nicer world.

But there is something to the statement I made about growing to love a particular woman's feet. You truly can (potentially) have a shift in mindset and change your view!

Not every guy is going to care about or even notice feet. We guesstimated about 15 percent of the male population of the Western World has a "foot interest," which is a pretty small number, overall, and of that number, only the tiniest fraction are guys who would fall into that "I can't live with your feet" category.

Case in point, the guy I responded to wrote back:

Thanks for your really great advice and words of wisdom. You said things that were really helpful and gave me a lot to think about. It's her nails that I don't like to be honest. So I guess you're right in that this could be remedied to a certain extent at least.

Even though we've talked about a lot of things, I haven't brought up my foot fetish and I don't know if I ever will because I've literally never told ANYONE (outside of online forums) that I have a fetish. But I guess I don't have to tell her I have a fetish to just say I like feet that look a certain way. I guess I like hair styled in some ways more than others - and I don't have a hair fetish. But that's something for for the future potentially anyway.

For now though, I guess what has really hit me hard when reading it was this:

"Relationships, where the two people get along really well, and click the way you're describing, and are genuinely caring about each other? That's far rarer than a girl with perfect feet. And unless you have something really special going for you, like you're a wealthy show biz type, pro athlete, or are just catnip for girls, you may not have as many opportunities as you think. After all, what is she sacrificing from her "perfect guy" list to be with you"

I shall take this advice and keep persevering with things and hopefully, like you say, I might grow to actually like her feet. I just hope I haven't messed things up because recently I've been acting a little weird - like not kissing her much. But I think it's definitely worth sticking with for a bit longer anyway. If I still feel the same way further down the line then maybe it's a stumbling block I can't get over. But for now, thanks to your advice, I think it's definitely the right thing to keep going and see what happens and to try and stop thinking about it too much and getting myself stressed out.

Thank you again.

I want to make a point about this which I actually mentioned in the Another Foot Friday post in March, 2006.

There, I stated:

The overwhelming majority of viewers with an interest in feet will never tell you this, at least not any time early in your relationship, not even if you asked them, point blank. They have been discouraged by various odd news reports and by colleagues, co-workers, friends and relatives that liking feet is "freaky." So, they will be very reticent about it. Discussing this topic isn't something these typically shy and polite people would readily do.

And this is borne out by the response the guy made. I mean, he's discussing a huge issue to him about his girlfriend's feet with a bunch of total strangers, and he hasn't even told her he is interested in feet! I didn't make that point on the board, but maybe I should have? Communication really matters.

But here's my final thought about it... Many guys can and do find great beauty in feet they may not go wild for, and, if we're being candid, that's really all to do with the person attached to them.

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